All posts tagged: family stuff

PrintI listened to this today and was really intrigued by the content – I think it’s worth the 15 minute listen or you can read the transcript:

Is Work-Family Conflict Reaching a Tipping Point?

I think it’s important to stay informed as we lead/pastor/teach in 2014 and we’re all dealing with families – especially in the church dynamic. I felt this podcast was really eye-opening and a conversation starter on multiple levels as we seek to lead and pastor families in the church.

Some of the most interesting statements/comments:

You surveyed graduating college seniors in 1992 in 2012. And in the class of 1992 78% said that they did plan to have children. But by 2012 only 42% said they planned to have children.

another thing that we observed was the change in how many hours people expect to work. So in 1992 the anticipated hours per week was 58. In 2012 it was 72.

So for one thing young men today expect, much more than their predecessors, to have a spouse who is fully engaged in her career.

In addition young men today are more likely to want to be engaged on the domestic front as fathers and as partners, to be more psychologically and physically involved in family life. And so the conflict between their work and potential family roles is much greater as a result. And that’s one of the things that we saw that helps us explain why fewer men are planning to have kids. Because they don’t see how they can do it.

Having seen their parents generation. Which went from 15% of mothers in 1992 being full-time employed to 50% of the class of 2012. They see what’s required. And many, especially women, are saying to themselves, well if I’m going to have kids then one of us should be at home. And it’s probably going to be me. So again, there’s another tension.

And again for women in our sample the more you identified as agnostic or atheist the less likely you were to plan to have kids of your own. So we infer from that the norms associated with traditional religions about the role of women society, they’re having less of an impact in terms of how women are thinking about their future.

So that men today, compared to their predecessors 20 years ago, are more egalitarian in their perspective. They’re much more likely to support a 50/50 model of shared responsibility, of shared care at home and shared commitment, equal commitment to work. The interesting thing though is that women are less so. So their belief in the necessity of a 50/50 world has actually gone down. So as a result you see men becoming more egalitarian women less so.

For people to have work schedules and workplaces that enable them to do the things that matter to them in the different parts of their lives. And the companies that are ahead of the curve on progressive, flexible, work policies are going to be attracting the best and brightest.

There’s been a number of important stories coming out over the last few months about trying to rein in the beast of overwork. And to give people opportunities to have more lives beyond work. And whatever can be done to fight what remains is the stigma flexibility. Men and women taking time. And still in many of our companies they’re seen as not committed. And it’s just foolhardy to be measuring people on face-time.

Macy & her teacher

On Thursday, June 7th, 2012, Macy graduated from Kindergarten. I’m writing this post to celebrate her and so that we don’t forget all the little things that she’s accomplished and the little things that make her so special.

As Macy wrapped up Kindergarten at Rancho Christian School, she really blossomed:

  • She’s doing very well at reading
  • She can write well too, although she’s a little sloppy – we like to think she’s a more “outside the lines” kind of girl
  • She wrote a two page report on Dolphins – her favorite animal (this month anyway)
  • Her teacher said that her unique quality was that she was a good friend and always tried to include everyone
  • Her favorite part of Kindergarten was Art

Some of the things that make Macy such a special little girl are:

  • She loves to take care of people – she’s the first one with band-aids or a damp paper towel when someone gets hurt
  • She love to color and draw – I think she gets it from her older brother
  • She loves her younger sisters
  • She loves her brother, but loves to annoy him too
  • She can’t decide if she’s a princess or a tom-boy – some days she comes out with fancy dresses on and some days it’s her brother’s old clothes
  • It takes Macy four times as long as anyone in the house to do pretty much anything, but when she sets her mind to it she can do whatever she puts her mind to
  • She’s very clumsy
  • She can sing beautifully (like her mom)

After she finished her graduation ceremony and class party, Jen and I pulled her aside to give her a little present and tell her how proud we were of her. I told her about how God knew her before she was even born, and has every day of her life planned, and that her mom and I would be there for her every one of those days. Jen gave her her present, which was a little cross necklace to remind her of this truth. I think we both held back tears as we put it on her and watched her bounce back into her class with all her little friends. We are truly blessed.

For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,
your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.

Psalm 139:13-16

This pictures about sums it up. We started out just two kids who fell in love, and almost 19 years later this is the result. Four beautiful kids, each with their own personalities, quirks, cute sayings, tempers, likes, dislikes, and all of them clamoring for your attention Mom.

Yesterday we drove down to one of our favorite spots, Oceanside. On our way down we listened to a message on parenting, which stopped working about 15 minutes in – so we just talked about being parents the rest of the way. Of course we feel like we’re not doing enough, and we’re not equipped to do the job. But I look at this picture and I’m reminded of how much God’s grace covers our life and I’m full of hope.

Jen, on this Mother’s day, I’m so thankful for you and I hope you know how much you are loved!

I’ve found that going on hikes with my song Miles (9) has been a great way to connect with him without an Xbox, Kindle, iPod, computer, or football. It’s a time when we can get out into God’s creation and just enjoy nature and one another. Times like these I know are few and will only become harder to create as he grows older.

Today, I took a a big step and took Macy (6) and Maggie (18 mos) on a hike along with Miles and his buddy, Andrew (along with his older sister). I’ve been hiking with Don and his son, Andrew for the past couple years and our boys always have a great time together. Well, we had fun today, but for me, it was a little different. It wasn’t a leisurely hike through the woods, it was constant watching and caring for our two girls, while Miles ran ahead and took care of himself. We had lunch & hiked around Forrest Home, saw Billy Graham Rock, crossed a suspension bridge, and found some really cool spots along the way.

All in all it was a good day – just different. My girls need a different type of attention than my son and I’m learning the differences between being a dad of a son and a dad of daughters.

Pray for me, I’ve got three of ’em (daughters that is).

Here’s some more videos of Maggie:

We have about 5-6 singing santa/snowmen dolls that get brought out each Christmas. Maggie’s new favorite thing to do is turn them on and dance to them…

Here she is on the playground…

Here she is riding her “bike”…

And lastly, throwing a temper tantrum…