Found this book at the place we were staying last week in Catalina. It looked like the original release. I’ve always thought that Bill Cosby was funny – my parents used to have the “Why is there Air” LP, and I remember cracking up listening to it. Well this book was so funny that now I have to go buy it because I couldn’t finish it. Here are some of the best quotes from the book, if you’re a dad, you’ll probably get it…
Always end the name of your child with a vowelÃ¢â‚¬Â¦ A nervous mother needs an Ã¢â‚¬Å“oÃ¢â‚¬Â or an Ã¢â‚¬Å“iÃ¢â‚¬Â or an Ã¢â‚¬Å“eÃ¢â‚¬Â because they last long enough to get the kid home for his beating.
The Lord was wise enough to make a womanÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s pregnancy last nine months. If it was shorter, people with temporary insanity might have two or three kids a year, and they would be wiped out before the first one had learned to talk.
A parent quickly learns that no matter how much money you have, you will never be able to buy your kids everything they want.
They put a curse on their children: I hope that when you get married you have children that act just like you. (And of course the curse always works, proving that God has a sense of humor). My own wish is not a curse but a simple prayer: I just want the children to get out of the house before I die.
One day my wife said to me, Ã¢â‚¬Å“HeÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s your child. I wash my hands of himÃ¢â‚¬Â. Where is this sink that you can wash your hands of a child? I want to wash my hands too and then the boy can go free.
And then you resolve the dispute with wisdom worthy of Solomon: Ã¢â‚¬Å“I donÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t want anyone in this house to touch another person as long as you live.Ã¢â‚¬Â
They ask a child a question, he tries to answer, and they say, Ã¢â‚¬Å“You shut up! When I ask you a question, you keep your mouth shut! You think I am talking to hear myself talk. Answer me!Ã¢â‚¬Â
You know the only people who are always sure about the proper way to raise children? Those whoÃ¢â‚¬â„¢ve never had any.
I must admit that from time to time children do like to share with siblings. For example, once in a while, a brother will try to remove his sisterÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s arm so he can play with it.